University of Santa Anita

"Pro-actively serving the largest metropolitan area in the United States without a major institution of higher learning"

The True but Little Known Facts about Women and AIDS

with documentation

by Dr. Juatta Lyon Fueul

Departmnet of Public Health and Public Interest Enrichment


  1. The Atlantic Center for Disease Control recently confirmed that no woman who has remained vehicularly exculpatient until the age of at least 53 has ever contracted AIDS.
  2. New evidence from John Hopkins: Married women can reduce their risk from AIDS by 73.8% if they do not share their unwaxed dental floss (mint or unflavoured) with their husbands.
  3. According to a new Belgian study, spread of AIDS among European women may be linked to sharing elevators with politically correct ambulance drivers.
  4. A recent study in Pittsburgh proves that women who eat hot oatmeal twice a day are significantly less likely to contract AIDS than women who eat breakfast with unprotected spoons.
  5. Women cannot contract the HIV virus over the Internet.

(works sited):

  1. Atlantic Center of Disease Control. (March 1974). Blameless driving records and satisfactory performance: a correlation in female hospital aides? ACDC Special reports.

  2. Hopkins, John.(30 Febuary 2011) What my wife tells me about the oral hygiene of her old sorority sisters you don't want to hear. Florida Megachurch News, p. 2.

  3. Magee, Fybb R. (September2019) AIDS in la femmes und der mensch; faire un canular. Medical Journal de Belgii Academe von Munchausen, vol. 91. p. 07721-07734

  4. Hokes, Ida Tekkta.(1996) Venous outcome assessment and retrospective technical considerations of the Squirrel Hill Study's oatmeal treatment and therapy for neurologic decline in women at risk of metaphysical anomalies and even more words that make this article title appear to be impressively long. International Collegiate Journal of Healthy Skepticism, p. 1066-1492.

  5. Donat-Bleif, A. Ward. (8 September 2010) AIDS constructs and computer viruses. The Very PC Weekly Monitor, p. 155-6.

Copywritten: 2014*
University of Santa Anita
Departure of Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt

* And for some odd reason this page is also copyright 2014 John R. Henderson

A SPECIAL NOTE: This page was created in connection with a project concerning critical thinking about things you find on the World Wide Web, and the so-called facts on this page are bogus. Well, it is probably true that women can't contract the HIV virus over the Internet. 

A SPECIAL NOTE TO THOSE OF YOU WHO MIGHT BE OFFENDED BY THE HUMOR FOUND ON THIS PAGE: Whether or not using humor about death and disease is insensitive or shows poor judgment is debatable. But if this page generates a debate, I think that is good. The "facts" on this page are intended to be outrageous and humorous, because I don't want someone stumbling onto the site to mistake them for true facts. Those people who have identified themselves as AIDS patients have without exception complimented me on the page. Special apologies, however, go to politically correct ambulance drivers. As a non-hypersensitive paramedic told me, "we have been trying to shake the 'ambulance driver' moniker for nearly 30 years. This term is equivalent to calling a nurse a "bedpan changer." While driving is part of the job, it certainly doesn't describe the profession."

PAGE CREATED AND MAINTAINED BY: John R. Henderson, Ithaca College Library
FIRST CREATED: April 1, 1996
LAST MODIFIED on the anniversary of the sacking of Rome by the Visigoths, 2014